I Survived! And tales of Orlando Bloom.

I finished teaching gig #1! Although I had several things thrown at me -- computer keyboards, snowballs, insults, etc. -- I came out with minimal scars. As much as I wanted to blog & Christmas shop & make cookies, I spent this past week doing far more interesting things.

For the past 5 days, I have:

1) Sat on the couch

2) Knitted 5 scarves

3) Watched all of the Lord of the Rings extended editions + bonus material

4) Showered once

Have you ever listened to a song from your childhood/teenhood that you had forgotten about and suddenly remembered all the words? I felt the same way with LOTR. I was in love with them in the early 00s, and caught myself blurting out the lines along with the characters. Even the hobbit drinking songs. 

The one thing I think that I should mention, that played a huge part of my embarrassing life as a teenager, is Orlando Bloom. Legolas from Lord of the Rings. My obsession with him used to be almost as great as my obsession with David Bowie. You don't understand. My locker/binders/bathroom/Christmas cards were covered with his face. I had a birthday party for him when I was in grade 11. I made heart-shaped cookies with our initials in the center. I even made a giant Orlando man cookie, in the hope that people would fight over eating his crotch (nobody did, except me.) I even wrote Orlando love poems for the occasion and recited them to my hippie friends in the yearbook room. People came for the free cookies, but thought I was totally nuts. 

When I saw Orlando on the screen, things came flooding back to me. Facts about him. For example, I suddenly remembered that he lost his virginity at 14; that his favourite ice-cream flavour is mint chocolate chip; and that he broke his back while climbing a drain-pipe and falling. Just like the lyrics to a forgotten song, I found myself remembering facts and thinking, How do you remember these insignificant details? Even if you don't particularly like Orlando, you can't deny that Legolas is one of the best characters of LOTR. He utters ridiculous and intuitive lines like, "This forest is old. Very old. Full of memory" and "I feel a shadow and a threat growing on my mind." Ohhhhhhhh. Very deep. 

"I don't think I heard you properly. You made a cookie of me just so you could eat my cookie crotch?"

Here's to you, Orlando. I still have your autographed pictures in a box somewhere. Although I used to practice my signature with a "Bloom" at the end, I think it's great that you married someone, even if I think you could have done better than a Victoria's Secret model. Although you haven't done anything substantial since Pirates of the Caribbean, it's great that you've taken some time off the do theatre, or whatever. 

Now that this past week is over, I have lots to do. I have to catch up on all your blogs! I have to buy and wrap presents. I also have to make Christmas cookies. Maybe I'll make an Orlando one for old times sake...