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| I love this picture from education formal for many reasons: 1) I'm veiled in smoke that was circulating all night on the dance floor; 2) You can't tell who I am by all this smoke, so I won't get kicked out of my program for having this blog; 3) I'm standing in front of these flags for absolutely no reason, which don't make the coolest background; 4) The place we were at was Italian, hence the Italian flag; 5) I'm not Italian. |
That's right. I had glasses, braces, & pimples. Big deal, right? Well, my mom made me take acne medication, which completely dried up my skin which made me flaky and scabby. I was blessed with an abnormally huge amount of body hair & pale skin, which only made matters worse. Plus, I just wasn't cool all around & I was really shy in high school. My prom was lame -- I wore a dress that I'm not too fond of now, my hair was in a simple bun, and my body turned splotchy orange because I incorrectly applied self-tanner. I didn't have a date. Nobody slow danced with me. My friends arrived late, everyone "cool" left early, I looked like an idiot dancing, I spilled food all down my dress, and our after-party consisted of a bon-fire with a couple of people (I HATE bonfires, if you didn't know).
Well, now I'm super-cool, above-average looking (does that make me sound vain?), and people can't get me to shut up. So, I wanted to make some good prom memories. Unfortunately, some things about high school prom were still the same. Although I looked and felt gorgeous, there was of course the token blonde skank who kept standing up at her table & cheering & pulling her dress up so that you could actually see her ass cheeks. There were the popular, cocky guys that were showing off and doing ridiculous dance moves (one of them even pushed past me on the dance floor and I was like, "Oh no you di'n't! I will not have the popular dudes treat me like a loser again!") There were teachers present, professors in this case, which were extremely weird and awkward to be dancing in front of.
The difference this time around, however, is that we were all beyond old enough to drink. Which means that I went ABSOLUTELY NUTS when a Backstreet Boys song came on, and proceeded to dance in front of the smoke machine with my friend while doing dance moves that only the Backstreet Boys themselves would be proud of. Also, a bunch of us left a little bit early so we could go sing karaoke in a scuzzy bar with our fancy dresses. I proceeded to sing "The Thong Song" by Sisqo, by myself, very badly. I vaguely remember yelling into the mic, "This song is dedicated to all my thong-wearing ladies (and men). Put your hands in the air if you're wearing a thong!" One person did. I proceeded to say, "Good, because I'm wearing Granny panties!" I think this night definitely ties with the embarrassment experienced on high school prom night. I guess I can't escape it.
This weekend, I'm dressing in drag, which should be fun. As much as I have already explained to you all that I would rather be a man so I could dress up as a woman, I am still pretty excited to dress up as a man nonetheless. So, I must go practice my beard application. And my ball-grabbing technique. Until next time, folks.
Sorry, that sounds like a brilliant night.
ReplyDeleteThis marks the second time I've thought about the Backstreet Boys THIS WEEK. No joke. A colleague was telling me a story about her friend who has hooked up with a guy that's already in a relationship. She asked for my thoughts. I read the lyrics from 'The Call'. I'm not really sure they were relevant to the story, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
And why do you hate bonfires? Is it because wherever you sit the smoke will get in your eyes? That's my main problem with them.
I love that you did the thong song at karaoke!! haha, "thighs like what what what.." that's my jam!
ReplyDeleteI didn't go to my senior prom because I knew it would be lame, as lame as junior prom. Instead my friends and I went bowling and had dinner at a nice restaurant. High-school was lame, and it's sad that some people still act like the jerks they were back then. My theory is that if you were a nerd in high-school, you're all the better for it now.
That's a cute dress!
ReplyDeleteAmazing post, as always. My friends and I used to spend HOURS learning BSB dance moves off of a concert DVD...when we were 17...OK, 21. The education prom sounds like it was a resounding do-over success. Nothing makes things seem more fun than a few shots.
ReplyDeleteA few years ago I saw Sisquo when he was touring with a bunch of 90's hiphop artists. He sang The Thong Song and encouraged the ladies to throw theirs on stage. Nobody did. It was pretty awesome.
K-money hates bonfires because she was forced to sit in front of way too many fires as a child :)
ReplyDeleteYour prom sounds bad. Mine was bad too. I actually did have a date but if I could go back in time, I would un-ask him. He's in jail now for some really nasty stuff. Wow, good judge of character Sunny.
TbR -- The lyrics from "The Call" are applicable in a variety of situations. And I love the fact that you actually used them as advice. Who would've known that BSB could have taught us so many life lessons. Oh, and bonfires? Sunshine Morningstar is right. We had a bonfire at my house throughout my childhood/teenhood. Actually, I think I might write a post about why I hate bonfires. Now.
ReplyDeleteTsaritsa -- Haha I love that that's your jam! It's interesting how you guys have "senior prom" and "junior prom." We had "semi-formal" in grade 10/11 which I guess is similar to junior prom. And we don't actually call it prom here, we just call it "grad" but I used "prom" for the purposes of this post so you all knew what I was talking about. Very interesting....But bowling/fancy dinner sounds like an awesome time :)
The Watchman - Thanks!
Jennie - Where can I get myself a BSB DVD?!? That sounds fantastic. And what, you saw Sisqo?? Did he sing the thong song over and over because he has no other hits? And who wants thongs being thrown at them anyways, ahem, butt floss?
Sunshine - Bahahaha. Of course you would go to prom with a now-criminal.
i went to 7 proms. no lie. (and not because i was super popular or anything!) sometimes with boy friends, sometimes with friends who needed dates. i'm OBSESSED with getting super, super, SUPER dressing up. a few years ago i almost went to another prom (i was 27 and MARRIED) with my friend's son because he didn't have a date and i was like OMG I CAN BUY A DRESS!! I'LL TOTALLY GO!
ReplyDeletei LOVE that you sang the thong song! baby move your butt, butt, butt!