Wild and Untamed Things

It’s almost that time of year.

It started off with just my good friend, who shall forevermore be known as Helga (good thing she doesn’t read this blog. She’d kill me for calling her Helga. And I apologize if your name happens to be Helga, because it’s a very unfortunate name.) We then started recruiting more crazies to come with us. I’m talking about The Rocky Horror Picture Show of course. It’s the only cool event that occurs in my very un-cool town usually right after Halloween or sometime in November.

You can probably guess why I love RHPS. If not, here's why:

a) Tim Curry

b) Transvestites

c) It's a musical

d) Cheese

e) Tim Curry

My family is uber religious and doesn’t celebrate Halloween. So, as a child, I was never allowed to dress up or go trick or treating (one of the skills that sadly, I’ll never learn in life. Like how to throw a football or shave my legs without cutting myself). I stayed home in my pjs, watched movies on TV & gorged myself on carrot sticks while my friends got to dress up as serial killers and eat free candy. Brats.

It’s important that you know this sob story, because it explains my psychological need to dress up as often as possible. It’s like my brain is lacking in costume stimulation & I have to make up for all the lost years. Thus, I dress in costume as often as possible when the opportunity presents itself.  Halloween, costume parties, toga parties, 80s nights, zombie dances, grocery shopping, taking the recycling outside, etc. are great opportunities to dress up. Take that, parents.

Left: Helga as a generic transvestite/transylvanian (lame, I know). Center: our virgin rocky friend with no costume. Right: Me as Magenta.

Helga is my partner in crime because she was raised on RHPS. While my family was drilling me on the Bible, Helga’s mom let her watch RHPS daily since she was five.  The last time we went to the Rocky Horror interactive show, our group of ten won noisiest group & Helga won best costume (below). As you can see, we are wearing THE SAME COSTUME. It’s her giant tits that won it, I’m sure. 

Last year, with our floor show costumes. Helga is on the left and is dressed as Columbia, and I'm on the right dressed as a sort-of Janet.

The purpose of this post, however, is for you to help me decide what we should wear this year. Helga and I are low on funds & we can’t seem to make up our minds. We want to look cool, creative, and maybe just a tad slutty. We had our hearts set on dressing up like this:

...but neither of  us are skilled with a sewing machine or persuasive enough to get someone else to make it for us.

So here are our potential choices:

transylvanians

Janet in undergarments

We could wear/make this super awesome jacket (that Meatloaf, apparently, still has & counts as one of his prized posessions)...

...and could cover ourselves in blood & guts and become "Dead Eddie."

Janet dress (kinda boring...)

Frank

We’re leaning towards the Frank option only because we already have the lingerie. But quite frankly (aha, clever pun!), I don’t think a woman dressing as a man dressing in drag is nearly quite as fun or effective as a dude doing it.

Our female Frank from last year

If you’re a rocky fan, let me know if you have any other costume ideas!

If you’re not a rocky fan, feel free to be annoyed for reading this whole post & not knowing what the hell I’m talking about. If that happens, I say to you: “Don’t get hot and flustered, use a bit of mustard.”