Monday, February 21, 2011

The First Addition to my Time Capsule

You'll probably think I'm strange (or probably already do), but I've been hanging on to this magazine since it arrived in the mail a couple of weeks ago:

I kept it partly because I have a mad crush on Darren Criss (dude on the left), but mostly because I think the "special report" headline is great/ridiculous. My goal is to put it in my time capsule, and in 50 years, show my grandkids who will exclaim, "Oh fabulous Grandma, I can't believe that there was a time when gay teens WEREN'T on TV!" I guess I'm going to have to make a time capsule. And get me some grandkids at some point.

First of all, "gay teens on TV" is obviously a fantastic thing. This headline amuses me, however, because it should have been on the magazines a long, long, time ago. "Gay teens on TV" should be so normalized at this point that this headline need not exist. I feel like I've been transported back in time, and I'm reading this:

Also, I think Darren Criss should be commended because of his appearance on Ellen. He mentioned that in an idealistic world, he would not have to constantly reaffirm that he's a straight guy playing a gay character, and that he did not initially want to have to keep telling people that he was straight (because it obviously shouldn't matter). Yay, Darren Criss. It bothers me when people do the whole "don't worry, I'm only playing a gay character! Heaven forbid you get the wrong idea."

This reminds me of a clip that I saw in my Gender & Media class last year. Not that I'm equating gay characters with Kiefer Sutherland wearing a dress, but this clip makes me laugh sooooo hard because Kiefer is CONSTANTLY trying to prove his masculinity (i.e. sitting with his legs open, referring to the fact that he's embarrassed by wearing the dress, etc.). Of course, he doesn't want us to "get the wrong idea" either.  Note how both he and David Letterman can't talk about anything other than the fact that Kiefer is wearing a dress.

It's a dress people. It's not that shocking. Get over it, already!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Worst Day Ever

I'm not quite sure what I did to deserve the shit-tacular past three hours.

Firstly, it's -40 degrees celsius outside. And the wind is horrible. After checking Facebook, I noticed that people's screen doors were destroyed because of the wind. Thanks Northern Ontario.

I walked to the bus stop with my new "anti-slip" boots that I bought from Aldo. Anti-slip my ass. I slid on the ice for what seemed like a good five minutes, slow-motion in my head, but luckily I caught myself before I fell. "Haha! Good save!" I thought to myself. However, as my left foot reached out in front to steady myself, I slid again. Lo and behold, I did a massive face plant onto the ice, landing on my one knee. Now it hurts to walk. And to make matters worse, three cars drove by as this happened. One even honked. My jeans are now ripped in the knee, and my hands are covered in blood. And I had to do a presentation in my teaching English class. Urgh.

The presentation went fine, and on the way home I stopped by Wendy's to pick up a salad. I was starving, so I couldn't wait until I got home to eat it. I carefully opened the croutons (I love croutons!) and mixed my salad up with the dressing in a bowl. Yum. I went to take the first glorious bite, and I happened to glance at the container that the salad came in. I jumped.

There, in the container, was a spider. I stared at it for a good 10 seconds, because I couldn't believe it. I wasn't sure if it was dead or not. I took the Wendy's napkin and attempted to smush it. It started running around, and I discovered that it had webs attached to the container. After chasing it around, I finally got it. Urgh!! I am now sitting on my bed, shivering, and I feel like there are spiders crawling in my hair. I don't want to go back to the kitchen to chuck out the salad. What if the spider's mate is in there? What if there are spider eggs in there? I'm just going to sit here, post this, and figure something out. I. HATE. SPIDERS.

I'm sure I could bring it back to Wendy's. I don't really want another "free" spider-infested salad though. This is ridiculous. Things like this don't happen. You always hear about the person who found a finger in their taco from Taco Bell, or the person who found a grasshopper in their burger from McDicks. But you never really believe that it happens. Well folks, it does!!!!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

A Series of Fortunate Sort-Of Events

So, 3 exciting things have happened recently.

1) I Dressed Convincingly As a Man....Sort Of
As much as I've expressed before that I really don't see anything worthwhile about dressing in drag (if you're a girl)....well, I was hella wrong. Dressing as a dude is fun. It's a lot more comfortable and you can sit with your legs wide open. However, I have learned NOT to wear flowery socks & short pants for next time. Also, apparently my "dude speak" ends up becoming "black speak." I kept saying things like, "Hey girrrl, you lookin' dayum fly!" Urgh.

I really wanted to look like a "hot/preppy" dude, but instead my friends and I ended looking like creepy truckers/pedophiles. We went to a gender event thing @ my university, and then out for apps, which was fun. A friend of a friend, who performs at drag shows a lot was there, and performed a number which was really awesome. Which leads to #2.

2) I Actually Went to a Good Drag Show
I've complained before that my small, crappy city has small, crappy drag shows. I'm not saying everyone I've seen perform here is bad, but from the ones I've been to, I've seen a lot of screaming/metal numbers/unconvincing attire. Just sayin'. However, I know I should applaud anyone who has the guts to go onstage and perform in drag, even if they suck. *applause*
Anyways, the friend of a friend from awesome event #1 was performing in a show this past weekend, and we'd told her we'd go. I'm not sure if it was her, or the many "I'm sad it's Valentines Day and I'm single!" drinks I had, or the fact that we were in a small grimy pub with cool people, but it was GREAT. I somehow made my way to the front of the stage and started dancing with the drag kings. I will definitely go again.

3) I Found Out Where My Next Teaching Placement Is!
So, I will be teaching Gr. 8 at a relatively good school. I'm TERRIFIED. Teaching grade 8 means that I will have to teach all subjects. Let me remind you that I would purposely "forget" my gym clothes in gym class so I wouldn't have to play. I'm pretty sure grade 8 boys can whip a dodgeball really hard. Also, I almost failed math in high school, so good times. The craziest thing, however, is that this is a shared placement, which means I will be student teaching with someone else. Shared placements are rare. And guess who my partner is?? It's one of my best friends, who I shall call Myrtle. I think this is absolutely nuts. The odds of me getting a shared placement, with her, out of hundreds of people in the program is ridiculous. Hopefully we're not competing against each other & will want to kill each other by the end. I don't want it to ruin our friendship. We'll see.